Can a redlobster giftcard make up for years of lost time?

Ok, here's my big issue: all my life I've had a love-hate relationship w/ my mother. She's abused me, and herself, but I couldn't hate her bc she was my mother. Then when I was 11 she and my dad got divorced and I found out that she was in an extra-marital affair. She ran off with this other guy and left our family behind. She never said goodbye. I kept asking myself: How could a mother abandon her kids like that? She even moved to a different state. Life was fine without her. Me and my dad moved on while my brother went to college. I did often get sad when my friends talked about their mothers. It was really weird being the only girl without a mother. I became very shy and closed myself off from people. School was absolutely miserable. I came home to nobody after talking to nobody at school. I cried myself to sleep often, and I still do. And today, for my 16th birthday, I got a card from my mom wishing me a happy birthday. Inside was a MOTHERF*CKING RED LOBSTER GIFTCARD!!!! WHO THE F*CK GETS THEIR 16 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WHO THEY HAVEN'T SEEN IN YEARS A RED LOBSTER GIFTCARD!!!???? And that's not all, she also gave me pictures of her on vacation and enjoying her new life without me or my brother. WTF!!!! I AM IN SO MUCH AGONY RIGHT NOW!! ALL THESE YEARS OF CRYING OVER NOT HAVING A MOTHER!!!! I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF!!!!!! CAN SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE PLEASE???????????Can a redlobster giftcard make up for years of lost time?
I'm so sorry for what you're going through, she doesn't see the harm she caused you, obviously she was messed up in her early life, although she may not admit it, somebody din't show her love when she needed it.

she really though you would enjoy the gift card, this is her messed up way of saying she loves you and to have a good time.

despite this i wish you a happy birthday, thousands of kids have no moms, no happy b-days to celebrate,

only Jesus can change her, can you call her? can you tell her mom i need to be with you sometimes? you truely can find you strength in the Lord Jesus. write to her.