What would you do?

My mom, my sister, my daughter and i all went to the mall this weekend. As soon as my daughter and i got in the car. My sister started whinning to my mom that shes always babying my daughter. My daughter is only 3. We went out to redlobster and my mom spent 70 dollers on all of us to eat. Then we went to the mall and she bought my sister a bunch of clothes. My sister wanted a black trench coat and my mom told her no...and then my sister started throwing a fit(shes 17) crying and bawling and then she came over there and was like that stupid ***** never gets me anything...well i slapped my sister and was like dont talk to about her like that...she did it again..so i slapped her again. then she slapped me back and i walked out...well my mom gave her 40 dollers and we went down the mall our seperate ways. When we came back my sister was still in the same spot of the mall crying cause she didnt have enough money...we went to the car and my sister started digging at her wrist and crying..What would you do?
WOW, I am sorry for your family struggles, It sounds like there's not much you can do here. We both can say what we would do if this was our child, but she's not.



OK for the sake of the question - I have 3 daughters ages 3, 7, and 10 (not quite in that stage yet) but the behavior your sister is showing represents a true lack of discipline and respect (which I am sure you already know) This discipline, and respect is instilled in these early years of life. So being that didn't happen, and she is one year from adulthood, I would put her into a boot camp, for one last attempt to instill respect in her. After boot camp, if she didn't straighten up, I would kick her spoiled little bottom out. See how she likes living on her own. Some of these kids need a dose of reality to set them straight.



Good LuckWhat would you do?
If you don't want her to live there don't let her. I suspect she wouldn't last long if you did. From the sound of it you wouldn't let her have whatever she wants which is what she has right now. Maybe you should take her in and try to turn her around a little.
i agree with you.. family is family and you are suppose to do anything you can to help family... BUT even families have limits.. I would be really concerned that she is hitting your mother.. she can go to jail for that.. does your mother know that she can legally file no responsibility for your sister (sense she is still under 18) these are drastic so before it gets that far i would get that girl into therapy.. something is seriously wrong with her, and i would see if someone can help before she gets any older.. that would be a good thing for a family member to help her.. my Aunt filed no responsibly from her daughter because she was sooo out of control.. after triing everything she could, she just couldn't keep herself as legally responsible for her actions.. everything turned out OK in the end because my cousin went to counseling and got on medications that controlled her behavior.. maybe that is all she needs.. or maybe she needs a school for out of control teens.. I'm not educated in that field to know.. but what i do know is that you need to rescue your mother from an abusive living situation.. not allow it to come to your own household.. something needs to be done asap.. sounds like if it keeps going the way it is.. you will be visiting her in the jail house sometime soon..What would you do?
Slap her again and tell her to grow up. Your mother doesn't need to be treated that way and neither do you.
I am all too familiar with your situation. I am the younger of two and my sister sounds a lot like yours shes just older. difference in our situations is not only do i have a 10 month old daughter but my sister has a 6 year old daughter and she still lives at my parents house. To top it off my mom is an alcoholic so that adds to much of the drama. Every night i get calls from my mom, telling me the horrible things that my sister has done throughout the day to the point where she is crying and then i hear my niece crying in the backround. Unfortunately all i can do is go get my niece and that is it. I cannot tell my mom how to run her home or how to spend her money. as many times as i have told her to just kick her out of the house, i also have to realize that when my daughter is older, i wouldn't want to lose hope that she might come around. do you understand what i am saying? Even though you as a sister can see what is going on and that your sister is taking your mom for granted. Your mom being the mom, just wants to make her daughter happy. and you yourself being a parent should understand that and only hope that your own daughter doesnt grow up to treat you the same way. But the real kicker of this situation is, you can't tell your mom how to be a parent or how to spend her money. Just do what you need to do to take care of your own family and hope that your sister grows out of it, there is still hope for her, she is still rather youngWhat would you do?
she sounds like a spoiled brat and needs to get her butt kicked a few times.
This is going to sound rude, but i would point and laugh because honestly, a 17 year old crying? Thats sad! Maybe she needs a rude awakening! You don't always get what you want in life! SHe needs to get sent to boot camp!

She may need some mental help!
wtf? what are you, white trash? i want to slap all you silly fools.
just beat her a$$ like a million times
Well from what i see is that she wants attention because shes not the center of it...and the world doesnt revolve around some stuck up brat who gets everything she wants..even though she thinks she doesnt..you need to tell your sister that she needs to be thankful for all the things she has because what if she had none of it?what kindof situation would she be in...And i know how mothers can be...they want to give everything to their children ...so their children can have a better childhood than they may have had..but there needs to be a good discipline system..Ya know? im sure you wouldnt want your children growing up griping at you and whining at you for every little thing they wanted...well i hope you get the right advice for your situation...Best Of Luck To Ya...8D
Do you want that kind of drama at your house? It sounds like your sister has some real problems, and needs more help then you can give her see a professional. Slapping her was probably the wrong thing to do because that enforces that hitting is acceptable.
You have absolutely NO obligation to take your sister into your house, especially with the way she behaves!

It's sad to see her treating your mother the way she does, but your mom is letting her get away with. She enables your sister by giving in to her or by taking abuse and then turning around to give her money. (You don't say anything about your father. Is he out of the picture?)

Is it possible to talk to your mother about her role in this? Or is there someone in your community who could talk to her (like a good family friend, a social worker, your minister)?

Your sister is acting like a small child (I suspect your three-year-old daughter is better behaved!) and, as such, should be treated like one. A tantrum should just be ignored. Don't engage with her (however tempting it may be to haul off and hit her!) -- walk away! Refuse to acknowledge her existence until she calms down and behaves in a more mature way (that's what all these super nannies and child psychologists on TV do with unruly kids).

The car incident is simply INSANE. She could have killed you all!

She definitely needs professional help and certainly needs to be taken in hand.

Don't let your sister "guilt trip" you into feeling sorry for or obligated to her.