I think my fiance' has been sexually abused by his mother (Please read, yes it is long, but I really need you)?

Ever since him and his twin brother his mother has always been really werid with him, expeslly my fiancee'. When he was lil she would make the boys (him and his twin brother shower with him) shower with him, up untell they were 9, and the only reason she stoped then was because there father finally steped up and said that was enough. She would always walk around the house naked in front of them, even at 12 years old.



She absoulty hates me, with all her being! I am 32.6 weeks pregnant with his child, and we are getting married on the 28th of this month, and she treats me like utter sh*@, and he lets her, and sticks up for her.



He just came home from leave, and ofcourse he is stuck up her a%#, but before he went into the Army, it was just him and her at there house (well appertment). She would get "lonley" as he put it and would sleep in his bed all the time. (HE SLEEPS IN HIS BOXERS, IS A VERY HARD SLEEPER, AND EXPOSES HIMSELF IN HIS SLEEP)



When I went to his basic trainging graudation, she HAD to be the first one to hug him, there she was, in the middle of the gym where the graudation, all over him, while I am 5 and half months pregnant at the time, waiting for them to get done huging, when he tryed hugging me, she wouldent let him go. We would go into stores that day, and she hung on him the whole day, made him hold her hand, held his arm the whole time.



When we went to the hotel that me and his oh so wonderful -mother- were staying at, she wouldent let him set by me, she wanted him to lay next to her on the bed.



The whole day THEY were talking and I was LISTENING.



She made me sleep on the cot, 22 weeks pregnant, and wouldent help me with anything,..



The whole day she keep saying like she always does, even tho we are both 18, are haveing a child, I dont have a car, or any money to my name



"You gonna by me a house right boy?"

"You should by me that house"

"I cant wait to move with you were ever you are staioned"



She is alone, BUT THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR HER BEHAVIOR,



She only once asked me how I was doing my whole pregnancy, and that was because of my fiance' telling her to.



He expects us to get along, and I f-ing hate, her, there is so much more to it, if you want to know, I can tell you,..I dident even tell you a quarter of the crap she has put me threw.



She made him fell bad for spending v-day with me, and only buying her dinner at redlobster and bringing it home to her, so she made him take her to red lobster a couple days after Valentines day, and thats not even the worse part, I diddent know they were doing anything, so I cam to his house and she was treating me like crap. When I was in his room, she called him name



They were whispering for 10 mins,



he comes in and I asked him what was wrong?



he says "my mom is just upset that you are here because I promissed her I would take her to red lobster since I diddent do anything for her on vday"



I was like ok GOODBYE and left...



She would always go in there and talk to him while he was in the shower



at his house they would lay on this small butt couch together, her a** on his you know...



She always hangs up on him, hugs him, kisses him.



This whole time he has been in the Army, she has only talked about how hard it is for her, and never asked me how I was, beings I am carrying his child!!!!!!





Long story short, like I said theres way more,

I belive with all my heart that she has done something to him or with him, and he gets really offensive if anything like that is brought up.



How can I tell? How can I get it out of him, How can I help him?



I was raped, more then once, and I understand how hard it must be to say anything like that, I can only imagen how hard it would be for him to addmit to his wife that his mother touched him.

BUT I can not let this contnue, even tho we are moveing FARE FARE away from her, that will still affect him in the head as I am sure this has already.



BUT we are haveing a child, this is really seriuos guys, and I really need your help so please answers, no dumb answers, or mean comments, this is all from the heart, and MY heart is telling me that this isnt right



I really need all of your help to answer this.. PLEASE DONT IGGNOREI think my fiance' has been sexually abused by his mother (Please read, yes it is long, but I really need you)?
Wow, you've got a big problem here. It sounds like your mother in law is treating you like crap. But I don't think she's abusing him. She sounds very overprotective, by the way she makes them shower together at a young age and all that other stuff. I have had to deal with mothers whose sons were clearly wrong in a situation and their mother stood up for them anyway. This sounds like the problem here. She must be upset about the fact that her son "got you pregnant" before you two were married and she doesn't want you two to get married. Her and her son sound pretty close and whenever you guys are near each other, she kind of makes him avoid you by always having him stay closer to her than you. She wants to make it seem like he would choose her over you, and hopefully you would back off from the relationship. But don't look at this as the wrong kind of love. It is simply showing mother son love, more love than needed, but just mother son love. This is clearly out of rage, but it isn't your fault that you're having a child, and getting married to this guy is the best thing you two can do.I think my fiance' has been sexually abused by his mother (Please read, yes it is long, but I really need you)?
i've got to say that this is odd, but having him not stand up for you is bad, confront him, and let him now that you he will have to make his choice, its his mom or you and his kid, no other option
Doesn't sound like his mom is sexually abusing her son. His mom is just jealous and over protective - Monster-in-Law style. This is quite normal as you see, your fiance is quite young you know, 18yo. I'm sure to a mother, 18yo is still a baby to them. Furthermore, you guys are getting married and you are now pregnant, your fiance has another type of commitment and love which is shared between you and his mother. Of course she'll be jealous (since she used to get all the love and attention to herself)! This is a normal reaction. Most of the time, u need to give some time for her to digest the truth. However, it is the utmost importance that you speak to your fiance about it and let him understand how you feel. I also believe your fiance is quite confuse about this manner as he doesn't want to upset his mother as well as upsetting you. Also let him know that he has to know how to differentiate the love between you and his mother or by giving appropriate attention to each other. One more thing is, try not live with her once you guys get married.

Its true that letting you sleep on the cot is a bit mean, I believe, his mother is just being really jealous but your fiance should have acted as well. Or at least offer to make the cot really comfortable and apologize to you or sth like that.

Good luckI think my fiance' has been sexually abused by his mother (Please read, yes it is long, but I really need you)?
uh wow. i'm not too sure that i would push the subject, no matter how much it means to you. do you know his brother? could you talk to him? maybe he could give you some answers to your many questions. i agree that some of the occasions you described are strange, but everything has a story behind it. maybe it's not a bad one, but on the other hand maybe it is. i'm not sure if i made any sense in what i'm trying to say. good luck with everything that is stressing you.
First off, why the heck would she make a 22 week pregnant woman sleep in a freakin' cot when she took the bed. Sorry that's just wrong.



About be abused, I think she may think that since he is her son, she has seen it all. Which she has, so theres nothing wrong with touching him like that and watching him like that. I would sit down and not right away say "Have you been abused or raped by your mother?" but more like "I'm concerned about the way your Mom acts with you. It's kinda weird. What do you think about the way she treats you." Maybe after that he will open up. Tell him that you know it's hard to admit but you won't love him any less if she did do that. I'm sorry she treats you like that. Just think your moving away soon.I think my fiance' has been sexually abused by his mother (Please read, yes it is long, but I really need you)?
I am only fifteen and have never experienced a situation of the type. But that is super f-cked up that she is like that to her son. Does he have a father you can talk to about it, or anyone that knows her, perhaps his brother? Try talking to relatives. If you can't find out through them, ask him straight up, why are you and your mom so weird around each other? He may stick up for her and you may get into a fight, but in the end wouldn;'t it be worht it? It will make him think about your feelings and if he truly loves you he will be honest with you and tell you sooner or later, and confront his b-tch mother . but then again, im only 15 with no relevance to these situations either. I just want to help you.
I don't think he's been sexually abused. If he was, don't you think he'd be a tad afraid of her? It seems like he's very close to her, maybe they willingly had sex together or somtheing?

She seems like the type that wants to be the mommy forever, and is very immature about it. Just don't react to it. When you move away, just avoid all connection to her. Delete phone messages, burn letters, stuff like that.

Good luck.
His mother sounds like she has some serious problems...but from what you tell me I am not sure that your husband was abused...on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being definitely abused and 1 being no possibility that he was abused, I would say that the chances are around a 4 or a 5.



It sounds more like your future mother-in-law has more issues with you than anything...I can't believe she made a pregnant woman sleep on a cot while she slept on the bed with her son...that is so messed up...this woman has issues.



You should confront her about it if you feel like your fiance will back you up. Have you talked to him about his mother's behavior? I would let this woman have it. And then if possible move far far away from her so she can't meddle with you and your husband's marriage.



Good luck!
Aw... Well that is really wrong that she is treating you like sh*t. and your 22 months pregnet? You should sit down and talk with him- of course when she is going to be gone for awhile
You need to sit down with him and have a frank talk with him about what you suspect. you need to help if if you need to do that. yes hes being used and shes doing this greatly. i have heard of this but never saw it. she is wrong and he is just not knowing what to do you have to help him along and tell him hes ok and he needs to see a good doctor also this is help him with this mess and do it quick. take care and good luck.